We can't change them but we can avoid them

Recently my family has been struck with work place stress.  In all incidents there seems to be one thing in common, that one co-worker whom decided for whatever reason that they are going to point out every little thing THEY feel is wrong with how you are doing YOUR job. 

I feel that people get so caught up in right from wrong and proving their 'right' that they loose sight of the big picture.  The big picture being we are all humans living and working in a struggling economy whom have families and personal problems. While at work we should focus on being kind to one another and not focus on the flaws.  We as a society focus enough on "flaws,"  we should make it our mission to focus on the positive at work.  Lets face it, nobody really loves being at work all the time so you might as well make it as enjoyable as possible.

I feel slapped in the face by billboards showing me I have the 'wrong body,' by magazines telling me how to loose weight, with  liquor stores flashing adds of people having fun while gulping down liquor which sends a terrible message to our young people.  If I were to be this 'perfect' being at 5"9' 120 pounds and happily intoxicated without gaining bloated tequila calories, I would only exist in fiction, which is really where these human beings only exist considering all the air brushing and photo shopping. 

I am simply saying, please please please think before you say or do something related to pointing out a flaw in a co-worker.  It isn't a good motivator, in fact the loved one I spoke with about this issue described feeling so deflated that he just wanted to crawl into a hole and sleep. Maybe that  "flaw" is only real in your mind, and maybe you are so focused on what they are doing because you don't want to focus on what you should be doing,. 

Comments? 

Bickering and holiday stress

My husband and I recently got into a fight over pancakes and smoothies.  It was so silly, however, I found myself caught up in the "he needs to understand my point" and not truly listening to him.  It was by no means a 'loving' conversation, but we are human.
My therapist told me a story about how her and her husband had a three day fight about toilet paper.  What is it about these small "discussions" that sometimes feel worse than the big big fights??
After calming down and eating both pancakes and a smoothie (lovely compromise) we made fun of ourselves for having such a battle.  This of course was hours after the bickering incident, but it still felt good to joke about it.  Laughter is by far the best way to get through stress.  The holiday season can be something awful for some so try and remember to laugh.  Also, be big enough to step away from a communication break down and laugh a little.

What is truly important is being together with those who appreciate you and vice versa.  Happy Holidays Blog readers and laugh a little....it's good for the bones ;)

Here is a little story I read in the book Destructive Emotions: How Can We Overcome Them A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama

There were two brothers, one who was never satisfied and one who always seemed satisfied.  On Christmas morning they got their presents, and the children were up in their room playing with them.  The child who was never satisfied had a new computer and games and a little robot, but when his father asked if he was happy, he said, 'No.  Now all the other children will be jealous of me, and then the batteries will die and I'll have to buy new batteries,' and on and on.  "Now, the other little boy had gotten a load of horse manure for Christmas.  When the father went to his room, he found him happily playing in it.  His father said, 'Why are you so happy?' He replied, 'There must be a horse in here somewhere!'

The book goes on to explain how we (at first) choose to react cruelly or negatively to certain things in life,  and the more we are negative minded, the more it becomes our regular thought pattern. 

One of my suggested anecdotes for negative thinking is to be generous toward others without the intention of receiving anything in return except for feeling a little less negative.  This week let us all try and be generous with our compliments, holding doors, being patient in long lines, and so on.  A good challenge is try and go an entire day without saying anything judgmental, even if it's simply judging the 'dry' turkey at your aunt Sue's house.  Just refrain from saying the negative judgmental saying and train your brain to be more thankful and less negative. 


Cheers,
Jenny Korotko
LCPC, ATR

p.s. I know it has been a while since I blogged.  There is a good reason for that.....more info to come soon ;)